This morning I did it! I got up early and read the gospel before the kids woke up. To my knowledge there is still not a formal motherhood award being given for this kind of achievement. That’s ok, it felt great! When I first read the gospel (John 15:1-8), I couldn’t help but realize Jesus sounded like a broken record. Three phrases stood out to me right away, “remain in me” “remain on the vine” and “I remain in you.” I knew these had to be important, since he spoke these a total of eight times. I’m going to share what the Lord has revealed to me throughout the day.
First let’s go with, “remain in me.” He said this 6 out of the 8 times. When I first read these words, I am reminded that Jesus wants us close. He wants us to rely on Him. He knows the dangers that lurk away from Him, and that he desires to give me His protection. But I think it goes deeper than this too. When I was 19 (shortly after my baptism), I attended a catholic conference. In a particular talk I attended, a priest shared that God wants our “spaghetti mess”. He explained that when we are struggling, Jesus wants to hear all about it. Of course Jesus already knows what’s in our hearts, and He knows it even before we do. So why does He desire to hear it from us again? He seeks our “spaghetti mess” because he seeks us. He wants to hear all about it, because he desires relationship with us. And so, by remaining in Him as He asks us to do in the Gospel, we allow intimacy with Him. Jesus is so loving! Today, to put this into practice in a tangible way, I decided to share as much as I could with Christ. When somebody asked me a question that I didn’t know the answer to right away I prayed, “Jesus, what would you have me say?” When I felt my anxiety picking up strong and it was only 7:30am I shared with him how hard that was, and how disappointing my mental health continues to be. Throughout the day I shared my fears, my joys, even my meal plan. I remained in him by sharing with him, and allowing Him to share back with me.
Secondly, Jesus tells us to “remain on the vine.” I can’t pass this one up without a garden metaphor! I am currently growing peas inside my house, and they are just now about 6 inches tall. They are the coolest plant I’ve grown so far! On their stem they grow what are called “tendrils.” It’s amazing because I have actually been struggling to keep them from looping onto each other with these things. God’s plan for seeds continues to blow my mind. In particular, I find it fascinating that God made these plants to grow tendrils. That he made them to need tendrils for support. It dawned on me during the Gospel today, how I resemble these peas. Just like these plants, I rely on something outside of myself for support. To grow and to thrive, I rely on Christ. When Jesus tell us “remain on the vine” he is lovingly but firmly reminding us that we cannot grow and thrive without him. He is reminding us that our nourishment comes from Him alone; our vine. He is the source of all we need. He gives us peace, rest, trust, joy, health, love. Just like my little pea plants I must use my “spiritual tendrils” to grasp onto the Lord, to rely on Him as my strength, to trust in His strength and not my own.
Lastly Jesus says, “I remain in you.” It’s not surprising to me that I skipped over this one at first. I think I justified my disinterest in this phrase by telling myself I’ve heard it before. But after allowing the Lord to speak to my heart on this, I admit that I skipped over it because it is the hardest for me to believe. I realize now that this may be the most important of these three phrases. This is the phrase that communicates Jesus’ unwavering love for us. First, as our teacher he tells us to “remain in him.” Next as our protector, he reminds us to "remain on the vine" for nourishment. But when he says “I remain in you”, I hear him speaking as a Father. That may also be why its uncomfortably hard to hear it at first. This love can be hard to accept for those of us who struggle in turning to our Heavenly Father. However, His Heavenly love is exactly what heals our wounds. When Jesus says He remains in me, I hear redemption. I am reminded that even when I fail to remain in him, he is still with me. When I forget the vine and I seek my nourishment elsewhere, he still nourishes. He is ever loving, ever healing, and always draws closer to me. As much as he wants us to seek Him, I think He desires to remain in us even more so. This is the love of God. A love that never holds back from us. His unconditional love changes our own perception about the love we had or didn’t have in the past. His love heals us, covers us, and is always for us. God “remains in us” to prove it.
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