Here are my tips for an unmedicated childbirth! This is not written to judge women who use epidurals or other medications, but rather to encourage and help women who want to have an unmedicated childbirth, to reach their goal.
1. Decide your “why”
Why do you want to do this? There’s a good chance you will want to change your mind and skip out on the pain when it hits a certain threshold. So it’s important to have a strong “why” to keep you aligned with your goal. For me, I wanted to meet my baby for the first time while we were both sober, I wanted to allow the natural suffering to take place and use that suffering to pour out love to my children and the Lord, and I wanted my baby to be healthy (research risks of epidurals if you are interested). The second and third time I gave birth, I wanted all of these reasons, but I also had a new reason of wanting to recreate the incredible spiritual experience I had with birthing the first time. There’s nothing like needing God to deliver you from that much pain, and seeing him work at your hardest moment.
2. Decide to do it
I personally do not know a mother who has given birth unmedicated without really wanting to. Birthing in this way doesn’t come easy, it’s the harder choice. So deciding to “see what happens” will probably lead to you caving on your decision. Deciding to birth without drugs needs to be chosen ahead of time and prepared for before the pain, so you can endure through the pain.
3. Pray
Oh goodness! This is the most important tip. At the very end of my pregnancies with each, I have seen the Lord draw me inward, and away form the world. I didn’t understand it the first time around, but with our next two daughters I realized it was my way of allowing God to quiet me, to remove some of the “noise” around me, so I could prepare for the work, the pain, and the reward of delivering my baby. While delivering my first baby (Benjamin), I reached a point where I could not do it anymore. I, Hannah, could literally not go forward and I asked God (in spirit more than than words) to take me through the rest. He has never failed me during birth. He has pushed for me, stretched for me, and brought my babies and I through the process of birthing every time I have asked and allowed Him into the experience.
4. Fill your tool bag
Like I said earlier, birthing with no pain meds is not the easier choice. It takes preparation to make it through. I took child birthing classes with our first two, where I learned and relearned the general process of dilation, pushing, and delivery. Being familiar with the process was necessary for me to trust my body through it. I also researched many ways to manage pain. Interestingly, I did the most preparation for our third babies' birth. Because I had hemorrhaged after my second delivery (with Adeline), I needed to prepare even more. I needed to let go of fear in a real way, to make sure I wasn’t holding on during labor, but letting go and allowing the process to happen in me. So much of birthing is actually letting go and getting out of the way, because our bodies need to be in the driver's seat. It's about finding ways for our mind to go along with the ride. I found many great tips for pain management, for preventing fight or flight mode, for letting go of past birthing trauma, and all of that helped me immensely to give birth to Bernadette quickly and powerfully.
5. Filter your information
Birth is transformational, no matter how it happens. Birth is an experience that never leaves a woman, we carry that journey in our memory and our mind and bodies are marked by it in one way or another. For this reason, it seems almost instinctual for women to want to share their birth stories, whether they had a “good” experience or a “bad” one. The problem with this is, “bad” birth stories can create fear. Fear leads to tension, and tension leads to increased pain. If we want to give birth unmedicated, the less fear we hold, the less pain we will experience. I think this is why I have needed a period of turning inward before birthing our children. It has been my way of filtering the information that has been given to me. Being pregnant, it seems like there is a sign on my forehead stating, “please give unwanted advice!” I have heard the most horrific, scary, birthing stories in the weeks leading up to birthing. It's important to actively look at the information you have received and filter through what you want to hold onto or bring with you into labor. I have done most of this "filtering" through prayer and journaling.
6. Write out your fears
With our first baby I experienced so much fear. I was afraid that I would die, that Benjamin would die, that Aaron would pass out from seeing me bleed, that I would need a c-section, the list was long. One of my biggest fears was actually that I would request an epidural. In the last month of pregnancy I decided to write out each and every fear in my journal. After I had them out on paper (which helped a lot in itself), I decide to “answer” each fear. For example: “I’m afraid that Aaron will pass out from seeing my blood” ... "and if he does, the nurses will help him come back from that and he will rejoin the labor when he can, in the meantime I will be surrounded by exactly who God has for me when I need them." I think my fears tend to be open ended, and so finishing the “what if…” with a “well then...” helped take the power out of the fears.
7. Write out your prayers
Each pregnancy I have made a list of all the prayer intentions that I wanted the Lord to hear. I listed things like, having a “healthy, safe unmedicated ,vaginal birth” and also listed things about my mental health postpartum. Because Benjamin (my first) was born 14 days after his due date, I prayed that Adeline (my second) would be born “before 41 weeks”, she was born at 40 weeks and 6 days. In retrospect, maybe I should edited it to “before 40 weeks.” In the final month or so of pregnancy, Aaron and I have prayed over these intentions nightly, taking turns to read them. It has been a source of peace for me, to allow me to relax and know that God is hearing my heart and my desires.
8. Accept His will
None of my births have been exactly what I pictured, or what I asked God for. But I can truly say they have all been exactly designed for me and our babies. I can only see that looking back. I have been blessed with unmedicated, vaginal births that have left me and my babies healthy and safe. However, I have also been blessed with the cross of postpartum anxiety and depression two times out of three. I can only say that God gives us what we need to fulfill His work in us. I am grateful for how each pregnancy, birth, and postpartum time period has developed, suffering included! So while we make our prayer intentions, and our birth plans, may we also remember to ask for His will to be done!